Our streets are filled with the protests and shouts of people who are angry. Unfortunately, some of that anger has turned destructive of property and even fellow human beings. But what is becoming alarmingly evident is the anger towards God. It’s spoken through actions and words. 

How about you? Are you angry at God for something He did, or failed to do, on your behalf? Are you suffering in silence over the loss of a baby or the dream of having a baby, blaming Him for not stepping in and answering your cries for a child? 

I wouldn’t blame you if you are. I remember the long days and nights of sorrow and anger in the midst of losing our second and then our third baby in a row. My wife was hard to console on a spiritual basis as she felt God was indifferent to the immense pain she was feeling … we were feeling, as a couple and as a family. 

If you’re angry with the One who made you where do you go? Who can you turn to that can possibly provide an answer or give you insight as to what you should do to stop the pain, end the loss and turn it all into a bundle of joy? If God is against me, who can be for me? Right?

Well, yes that’s true. If indeed God is “failing” to give me what only He can give me, where do I go with my questions and my accusations? Someone has to be responsible for the pain, and usually it’s God who is blamed or held accountable in our hearts and minds. 

Fear not. He can handle all the anger and questioning you have to fire at Him and more. He is indeed, as He has said, a refuge, a safe place to hide when life is out of control and impossible to figure out. The last thing He wants is for you to pretend you feel any other way than what you feel. Let Him know where you stand in your disappointments, your frustrations and your hurt. He wants you to unload on Him so He can bring a reservoir of healing to your dry, parched soul. 

His response to death and loss is the same as yours and mine, He hates it. Going back to the garden where Adam and Eve surrendered life in exchange for death, God grieved but in His grief He did something that neither Adam or the devil, who caused the death, could have imagined; He made a covenant to enter into the death with us so that He could bring about life, and provide it for all eternity where there will be no more death, loss or disappointment. 

Do yourself a favor, write a letter to God telling Him everything you feel. Let Him know about your deep hurt and anger over the fact that He didn’t do something about your loss of the child. If at first you can only scribble because you’re so angry, that’s great. Scribble until you release those buried emotions. Then, if you’re still angry write a letter to the enemy who stole your child. Tell him off in a way that allows you to hear what it is you’re feeling. Take a stand on the authority God gives His children and remind him your gain in Christ is far greater than any loss he can cause in your life.

After you’re done with that, bathe yourself in Revelation 21:4, Psalm 23 and Psalm 34. Allow yourself a few days to process all that you expressed and then If needed, do it again. If you feel you need to move on from the expression of anger then I encourage you to consider writing a note or letter to the child you lost, didn’t bring to term, or just had envisioned yourself having. 

It’s OK to be angry, but it’s not OK to stay there. My prayer is that you grow through the pain of loss and not just bury it. My wife and I understand how you feel, but more importantly, God understands too.

We hope this post helps you in your healing.